25th Challenge Result (Perfect!” (Aside: “Ass.”))

February 3, 2009

Hey there, haiku hotties! CuJen wrote a great guest blog entry that we’ll get to in a moment; I’m just going to get things started:

Ben denied, denied, denied:

Boarding School for me?
Dude… it wasn’t even mine!
Harshing my mellow.

jenny t got sartorial:

Boarding school for me?
A dream come true! I love the
Uniformity.

Sam2u asked after one of our regulars:

Boarding school for me,
thus, my haiku hiatus.
So, where is Kevin?

And Kevin promptly responded with a fake history lesson:

“Boarding school for me:
Rum, sodomy and the lash,”
Said Winston Churchill.

as well as

Boarding school for me?
Here I am! Who is asking?
Oh…the headmaster….

ismoon.maria showed her temper:

Boarding school for me!
I guess I shouldn’t have screamed!
“Fuck off, you assholes!”

I discussed education:

Boarding school, for me,
was an introduction to
bondage and torment.

And now we hand things off to CuJen!

Wow! As Joanna pointed out last week, I won my first time out the gate, which leaves me feeling mildly unqualified to pass judgment on this week’s excellent assortment of haiku hijinks. However, in honour of fourteen rather excellent entries, I’ll give it the ol’ college (or boarding school!) try!

jenny t hit the ground running with her sad domestic tale (tail?):

Boarding school for me –
My ‘rents were mad I fed our
hamster to the cat.

Once Alec learned to count, his carpentry angle (45 degrees, I believe) was great!

Turns out I can’t count.
Bad Hammer Academy!
Boarding School, V2:

Boarding School for me,
Nail Academy for you.
Carpenters R Us!

I also enjoyed Sam2u’s creative use of punctuation:

Boarding School Form “E”?
Whoa… too much paperwork, dude.
I just want to shred!

Alec also engaged my brain with his punctuation changes (and I’ve always wondered why monosyllabic was a polysyllabic word…hmmm…)

“Boar.” Ding! School for me
was best when the answers were
monosyllabic.

Ben’s take on the “power mad flight attendant” painted a lovely picture of small people wielding their limited power:

Boarding School for me?!
Power mad flight attendant…
…I just wanted nuts.

In the end, Kevin won me over with sarcasm and an irresistible final line, thus winning the week!

“Boarding school? For me?!
Oh, you shouldn’t have! It’s just
Perfect!” (Aside: “Ass.”)

Thanks, CuJen! And congratulations to prodigal son Kevin! Our new first line is Perfect!” (Aside: “Ass.”) As usual, punctuation and capitalization can be changed. Good luck, and I’ll see you next Monday with Kevin’s pick.

Yours,
Joanna

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13 Responses to “25th Challenge Result (Perfect!” (Aside: “Ass.”))”

  1. Ben Says:

    Perfect. A “side-ass”!
    These jeans are NOT flattering.
    Wait – are they on sale?

  2. Karen Says:

    As promised Joanna. 🙂

    Perfect! A side ass.
    I’m still trying to get rid
    of one in the back.

  3. Diana C Says:

    For our fallen comrades:

    Perfect aside: Ass-
    holes in corp’rate slash budgets;
    casualties? My friend

  4. HAM! Says:

    “Perfect!” (Aside: “Ass.”)
    Man, these mind-reading machines
    aren’t that flattering.

  5. Alec Says:

    “Perfect! Aside: Ass.”
    Uh-oh, were my lips moving?
    Frontal lobe needs work.

  6. Alec Says:

    Perfect! A side-ass
    is just the right companion
    for “FLYING SHEEP BOY!”

  7. CuJen Says:

    “Perfect, Aside!” “Ass…
    Please call me ‘Ass’ — it’s cooler.”
    (Teachers…so formal)

  8. wineforeveryoneonline Says:

    Perfect aside ass,
    Lady Godiva’s sister:
    bareback and bare-assed.

  9. ismoon.maria Says:

    Perfect! (Aside: ass
    or no, this one’s a keeper)
    desperate old hag

  10. Leila Says:

    Perfect! A side… Ass
    Clitoral stimulation
    Love-Doggy-Style

  11. Sam2u Says:

    “Perfect” (aside: “ass”)
    “Fantastic” (aside: “fuck you”)
    Charm school translations.

  12. Alec Says:

    Perfect! A side ass
    forces the jammer off-track.
    Roller Derby Queen.

  13. jenny t Says:

    Perfect! A side ass –
    better than main course ass; it
    has less calories.


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