Tenth Challenge Results (The choice is simple)

October 20, 2008

There were a record 14 haiku submitted this week! Luckily, I am in Reno visiting the lovely Beth, Matt, and Catalina, so I had some help with the judging. It was difficult, though; as usual, you all were exceptionally creative. Oh, and welcome to the new folks; we hope you’ll keep coming back!

Many of you eloquently expressed displeasure with the concept of vegan cheesecake. There was Kevin:

Of vegan cheesecake
There can be no denying:
It sucks – sucks out loud!

and

Of vegan cheesecake
I sing my song of woe and
Cry, Damn you, PETA!

and from jenny T:

Of vegan cheesecake
I die. So sad it was not
death by chocolate.

and

Of vegan cheesecake
I sing, listlessly and sans
any verve for life.

and from david r:

Of vegan cheesecake
Like poop in my cheerios
Abomination.

and from drew:

of vegan cheesecake,
how do you call it cheesecake
when there’s no damn cheese?

and Ben:

Of vegan cheesecake
I’ll bet it’s stuffed with tofu.
Ooow, my tummy hurts.

and Sam2U:

Of vegan cheesecake
My curious fork is poised
Braver than my mouth

and Beth:

Of vegan cheesecake
Squeaky on my teethy
Please pass the whipped cream

More positive were ismoon.maria:

Of vegan, cheescake,
or about veggies, pooky,
These foods we hold dear

and, ironically, Ham!:

Of vegan cheesecake
my desert is plentiful
very delicious

Ben got a little high:

Of vegan cheesecake,
uncooked goose and bathtub gin.
Strange vicodin dreams.

Another entry from Ben almost won this week–we were very torn:

Of vegan cheesecake;
why would anyone do this?
So confused. Need pie.

In the end, though, we had to go with another one from Kevin:

Of vegan cheesecake
Or firefighter beefcake,
The choice is simple.

Amen, brother! So, our new first line is The choice is simple. Start writing those haiku, and I will be back on Monday with Kevin’s pick.

Yours,
Joanna

Addendum: We just did a little research; in poetry, it is acceptable to pronounce “fire” as two syllables. So the count is correct.

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18 Responses to “Tenth Challenge Results (The choice is simple)”

  1. laurie Says:

    The choice is simple
    If you believe “yes we can,”
    Vote for Obama

  2. laurie Says:

    The choice is simple.
    Sneering “health of the mother”
    Won’t win you my vote

  3. Ben Says:

    The choice is simple?
    Pick my damn “cheesecake” haiku!
    This won’t win either.

  4. Diana C Says:

    The choice is simple.
    “Survivor” or “House” must go:
    TiVo’s out of room

  5. jenny t Says:

    The choice is simple:
    French onion soup for dinner,
    or French kiss at night.

  6. Ben Says:

    The choice is simple:
    sing and dance without your pants,
    or life poorly lived.

  7. Diana C Says:

    Not sure if this came through the first time so I’m reposting. Shout out to Ben G!

    The choice is simple:
    “Survivor” or “House” must go;
    TiVo’s out of room.

  8. Alec Says:

    The choice is simple?
    I think not. Too much beefcake…
    and you will go blind.

  9. Alec Says:

    The choice is simple:
    Weave words in blissful Haiku,
    or do my homework.

  10. Ham! Says:

    The choice is simple
    Between supercalifra-
    Oh darn! Can’t finish.

  11. ismoon.maria Says:

    The choice…is simple
    blindly grasping decision
    head splits, then answers

  12. jenny t Says:

    The choice is simple:
    One bite? Goes straight to the hips.
    Fuck you, Jenny Craig.

  13. Sam2u Says:

    The choice is simple:
    victimize the next, or change
    toilet paper roll

  14. Sam2U Says:

    The choice is simple
    orange, round, bumpy, and fresh
    carve imperfection

  15. Sam2U Says:

    The choice is simple:
    can you look beyond yourself
    for the greater good?

  16. Sam2U Says:

    The choice is simple.
    Socialist or terrorist-
    I like Robin Hood

  17. Ben Says:

    The choice is simple.
    If McPallin wins there won’t
    be enough vodka

  18. Mark Says:

    The choice is simple
    If I hear “my friends” once more
    I’m going to puke!


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