Good grief, where have I been?! I apologize for the month-long sabbatical, people! I’ll try my hardest not to let it happen again!

Before we get to Sharon’s pick, let’s review…

Stephen Kellogg gave us a very sweet rhyme:

Sleeping in my bed
With a pillow for my head
And my wife – now wed

and a fairy tale:

Sleeping in my bed
Is a blond little girl
The little bear said

and a bit of seduction:

Sleeping in my bed
Thoughts of you drift thru my head
Sweet dreams of you love

Ben reflected on some unfortunate circumstances:

Sleeping in my bed.
That’s where I should be, but it’s
the drunk tank for me.

And now to Sharon…

Among the few entries, some were really sweet, but I had to go with the one that made me laugh, by CuJen:

Sleeping in my bed
is a man I’ve never seen.
His mistake or mine?

(It also has a good last line for a first line, but that’s beside the point…)

Thanks, Sharon! And congratulations to CuJen, who probably doesn’t even remember writing that haiku after all this time! 🙂 So our new first line is His mistake or mine? Since it has been awhile, I will remind you that capitalization and punctuation may be changed. Start writing, and I will do my very best to be back early next week with CuJen’s pick!

Yours,
Joanna

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Hey there! Before we get to Ben’s pick, let’s look at your permanent records:

mich started us off with some words of wisdom:

Permanent record
of life: the fun and foibles—
we all wear the scars.

I amused my self with your tats:

Permanent record
of your idiocy is
your misspelled tattoo

Chuckdaddy talked tunes:

Permanent record
was a band I wish I knew
hubris implicit

mattrix can’t stop talking about work:

Permanent? Record
your Loyalty Oath: “Think Yes!”
Temp? Think: “No Bennies!”

And now, over to Ben:

All of this weeks entries were good but on a second run through, Sharon’s haiku stood out. Maybe because I could read several meanings into it or maybe I was just doing that because I could use a nap but in any case…

Permanent record
a chaos of DNA
sleeping in my bed

Thanks Ben! And congratulations to Sharon! Our new first line is sleeping in my bed. Keep the haiku coming, and I will be back early next week with Sharon’s pick!

Yours,
Joanna

Howdy! Before we get to debrarian’s pick o’ the week, let’s appreciate the other contributions.

mattrix went in search of entertainment:

“Sexy Off!” “Ice Mates!”
At Fantasy Video:
Crazy sexy cool!

and hit the classifieds:

“Sexy Office Mates
Wanted,” my ad said. Got one
response: David Brent.

Ben made the best of the economic downturn:

Sexy office mates,
provide in recession, the
only raise you get.

and tried his hand at fiction:

Sexy office mates
with dowdy rumpus room. Must
stop writing bad porn.

I enjoyed a staff meeting:

Sexy office mates!
Or is that the dry erase
marker fumes talking?

And now to debrarian…

My favorite is Ben’s saucy, punning first effort:

sexy office mates
may leave marks on more than your
permanent record

Thanks debrarian! And congratulations to Ben! Our new first line is permanent record. Haiku up, and I’ll be back early next week with Ben’s pick.

Yours,
Joanna

Hello again! Before we get to mattrix’s pick, let’s appreciate all of the week’s haikus.

Stephen Kellogg addressed the financial crisis:

Corporate claptrap
Empty verbiage or nonsense
Banker talk I think

and got the dirt:

Corporate claptrap
The water cooler chatter
Leads to more gossip

Seth checked his inbox:

Corporate claptrap
fills the e-mail page nicely.
What’s it mean? “You’re fired.”

Ben was encouraged to reconsider his employment:

Corporate claptrap.
“Downsized”. “Outsourced”. “Freelance”. Now,
part-time flimflam-man.

I went behind the scenes in Detroit:

Corporate Claptrap:
The name of Chrysler’s promised
comeback vehicle?

And now over to mattrix…

They’re all good, but I gotta go with debrarian’s depiction of “corporate clap” — the inevitable result of a “think yes oh yes!” moment … with a special honorable mention to Joanna’s Chrysler campaign … Joanna has undoubtedly been watching a lot of “Mad Men” recently, and it’s paying off…

Corporate clap: trap
for those who dally with their
sexy office mates.

Thanks, mattrix! And congratulations to debrarian! Our new first line is sexy office mates. Have at them, um I mean it, and I’ll be back early next week with debrarian’s pick!

Yours,
Joanna

Hello! Before we get to Seth’s pick of the week, let’s appreciate all of the haiku!

CuJen gave me the munchies:

On your list, less swell
than mallows, but beats out chips.
My best guess? Cheez Whiz!

Ben’s relationship ended cleanly:

On your listless swell
our rubber ducky of love
circles ’round the drain

Take it away, Seth…

Well, not a whole lot of competition this week, but the winner’s a hard one to pick nonetheless. All are brilliant.

Maybe it’s because I work in a living Dilbert strip, but I want to see what can be done with “corporate claptrap”. My pick, then, is Mattrix.

On your list: Less “Swell!”
“Keen!” “Neat-O!” and a bit more
corporate claptrap.

Nicely done, but again, this was not an easy choice!

Thanks, Seth! And congratulations to mattrix! Our new first line is corporate claptrap. Put your haiku caps on, and I will be back early next week with mattrix’s pick!

Yours,
Joanna

So apparently I’m still getting back into the swing of things; sorry! Mich was on time with her pick, but I was clearly not on time with my posting. I’ll try to stay on schedule, y’all! Now on to the haiku…

I gave a music critique:

Wave of apathy
Followed by bridge of blahness
Please, no more smooth jazz

Julie stayed current:

Wave of apathy?!!
Oh, Constance! Where’s that good ole
quasi-prom spirit…?!

Stephen Kellogg was melancholy:

Wave of apathy
Washed over me, blinding me
To lifes constant call

Take it away, Mich!

Joanna put smooth jazz in its rightful place, and Julie gave a righteous shout-out to Constance M., who was barred from bringing her girlfriend to the prom. But I was taken with the sonorous ebb and flow of Seth’s ode to ennui:

Wave of apathy,
I surf a board of ennui,
On your listless swell.

Thanks, Mich! And congratulations to Seth! Our new first line is On your listless swell. Start creating, and I will really really really aim to post promptly next Monday!

Yours,
Joanna

The haiku is back in session! Thanks for your patience, y’all. My lovely new little MacBook and I are ready to start counting syllables once more! Now let’s look back on a few weeks of haiku before Ben announces his pick…

Stephen Kellogg got the ball rolling, and kept it on the field (or whatever–I suck at sports metaphors):

Our love’s not that strong
said the politician’s wife.
No interns for you!

and

Our love’s not that strong
that you can go on flirting
Knock it off right now!

and

Our love’s not that strong
It’s much stronger than you think
We’ve got it real good!

and

Our love’s not that strong
we can’t wait another week
to see who wins this

and

Our love’s not that strong
Despite the hard drive crashing
We want a winner!

and

Our love’s not that strong
No winner? might have to leave!
Naw… See you next week

and

Our love’s not that strong
Joanna said, pitching her
PC to the curb

Hee, I love it when my name gets worked into a haiku! 😉

Jen added:

Our love’s not that strong
maybe a second date is
a good idea?

and CuJen gave us:

Our love snot! That strong
reminder of the “glue” that
holds us together.

and

Our love’s not that strong-
armed, “keep him on a short leash,”
insecure bullshit.

And now, over to patient Ben:

When compiling the haiku submissions, don’t forget, they are spread over two postings. And while Stephen went submission crazy with seven good haikus, my haiku love lay elsewhere. I almost fell for the liberty CuJen took in twisting the first line into “our love snot” but ultimately I was won over by the haiku possibilities offered by Mich’s last line (and look, [s]he used a dash and took liberties too!).

Our love’s not that strong-
willed to survive the coming
wave of apathy.

Thanks, Ben! And congratulations to mich! Our new first line is wave of apathy. Have fun, and I’ll see you in a week! Really!

Yours,
Joanna