64th Challenge Result (I wish it was mine.)

Hello again! I’m going to turn this right over to Alec!

With a couple of last-minute entries by Seth and CuJen after I made my initial selection, here’s my updated choice taking all entries into account!

Sam2U took liberties with syllables:

Turn Ed green with envy,
talking horses are easy,
dangle a carrot.

And CuJen spoke, perhaps, of cars breaking down in unfortunate locations:

…turned green! With envy
I watched the jerk drive right by
and flip me the bird.

Seth’s clever turn on green vs. green was oh-so-close to a winner for me:

Turned green. With envy
over my sporty Prius,
my neighbors did too.

But the equally clever entry from Ben absolutely tickled me with its imagery and irony; so this Haiku from Ben comes out victorious!

…turned green with envy?
What a dumb super-power!
I wish it was mine.

Thanks, Alec! Congratulations, Ben! Our new first line is I wish it was mine. I’m going to work really hard at remembering to post on Monday (really! this time I mean it!), so have at it and I’ll see you then with Ben’s pick.

Yours,
Joanna

63rd Challenge Result (turned green with envy)

Yikes, I’m late again–sorry! Ben was on time with his pick, though; before I turn things over to him, let’s review some haiku…

Sam2U hit the highway:

“Big Adam’s Apple
Stand,” or “Eve’s Roadside Melons”…
tough road trip choices.

and went on the prowl here:

Big Adam’s apple,
deep voice, large feet, facial hair…
but can he Salsa?

and here:

Big adam’s apple…
or is she hypothyroid?
I’ll take my chances

and visited Eden:

“Big Adam’s apple
bite cost him prime real estate…”
Just ask my broker.

Alec also took a road trip:

Big Adam’s Apple
is my favorite stop on the
Oversized Food Tour.

And Seth spread happiness and made impressive use of an apostrophe:

Big Adam Sapple
brought joy wheree’er he would go
with his balloon tricks.

And now, over to Ben:

While I really liked the way Seth twisted my first line with “Big Adam Sapple”, I guess I’m not a big enough fan of balloon animals to give him the win.

And while I loved Sam2Us bottom line/deal breaker of “but can he Salsa?”, Alec wins with the haiku that made me laugh.

Big Adam’s Apple:
At the sight, my Granny Smith
Turned green with envy

Thanks, Ben! And congratulations to Alec! Our new first line is Turned green with envy. Start writing, and I’ll be back on Monday with Alec’s choice!

Yours,
Joanna

62nd Challenge Result (big adam’s apple.)

Hey y’all! Sorry to be a bit late this week. I’m going to turn things right over to CuJen…

Hi All,

Well the pickings were a little slim this week…perhaps ED is still a taboo topic? Hey, if hockey players can discuss it with their doctors, then so can you!

I enjoyed smashey’s reference to the magic blue pills…

The loss of woody -
a pill not wholly bitter,
if the pill is blue.

And Seth had me reminiscing about the days of cartoons at lunchtime on regular network TV…

The loss of Woody
Woodpecker started the trend
of cartoons’ decline.

But it was Ben who really made me laugh out loud with his vivid image…

The loss of woody.
Thought her hot, then noticed her
big adam’s apple.

Ben is king of the lost woody!!

Thanks, CuJen! And congratulations to Ben, who I’m sure is thrilled to be known as the king of the lost woody! Our new first line is big adam’s apple. Start writing, and I’ll be back on Monday with Ben’s pick!

Yours,
Joanna

61st Challenge Result (the loss of Woody.)

Hey there! Let’s turn things right over to Sam2U:

This week we had five [six] potent haiku entries.

Ben had us slow dancing (and had an excellent ending line!):

To Androgyny:
Happy to see me? For real,
what’s in your pocket?

Seth took us on the backstage at Disneyland Inc.

“To androgyny
And BEYOND!” didn’t quite catch
on with Disney suits.

While CuJen delved deeper into Walt’s world (with a parallel thought to Seth’s):

“To androgyny
and beyond!” Lightyear’s cry for
the loss of Woody.

Alec sought an even deeper low

To Androgeny!
THICK with possibility,
but pun’s a long shot.

Yet, Alec also reminded us to be practical.

To andro geny,
anything’s possible but…
batteries required

[There was also a last minute shout out from jenny t:

To androgeny!
I toast – with a curtsy and
then twirl my mustache.]

Tough call to make, but I have to go with CuJen’s:

“To androgyny
and beyond!” Lightyear’s cry for
the loss of Woody.

Thanks, Sam2U! And congratulations to CuJen! Our new first line is the loss of Woody. Go to it, and I’ll be back on Monday with CuJen’s pick.

Yours,
Joanna

60th Challenge Result (to androgyny.)

I get to pick the winner this week! There were only three entries, but they were all fabulous…

mattrix introduced to the newest superteam:

Brylcreem, Bedazzler,
Barnacle Boy, and Blingman:
The “B-Team” heroes.

And Ben discovered the dangers of latenight TV:

Brylcreem-Bedazzler?
…With my VISA? That’s it! No
more infomercials.

In the end, though, I could not resist Sam2u’s alliterative history lesson:

Brylcreem, Bedazzler,
and Bowie paved the pathway
to androgyny.

Congratulations to Sam2u! Our new first line is to androgyny. Put on your haiku caps, folks, and I’ll see you on Monday!

Yours,
Joanna

59th Challenge Result (Brylcreem, Bedazzler.)

Howdy! Before we get to Sam2U’s pick, let’s admire all of the submissions.

Kevin Moore discussed publishing trends:

The Osmond’s Secret
will be the least popular
Dan Brown mystery.

(Side note: Alec wrote this haiku of appreciation for Kevin:

Kevin Moore’s Haiku:
His unexpected punchline
still has me laughing!!! )

CuJen told us about Donny’s thwarted ambitions:

The Osmonds’ secret
dream? To make it as rap stars!
Curse Vanilla Ice!

Alec cleverly punctuated:

The Osmonds’ secret-
ary hated my hyphen-
ated fan Haiku.

Seth took us beyond the facade:

The Osmunds’ secret
lair housed horrors more grotesque
than their smiles let on.

Ben took us into the kitchen:

The Osmonds’ secret
recipe? Two parts bourbon,
one thirsty Marie.

and let something slip:

The Osmonds’ secret?
It goes with me to the grave.
(Jimmy’s a robot!)

And now to Sam2U:

It was difficult to choose, but Joanna’s won me over:

The Osmonds’ secret?
The four B’s: Bible, Botox,
Brylcreem, Bedazzler.

Thanks, Sam2U! Our new first line is Brylcreem, Bedazzler. Have at it, and I will be back on Monday with my pick!

Yours,
Joanna

58th Challenge Result (The Osmond’s secret.)

Hello, and Happy New Year! Before we get to Ben’s pick, let’s review the submissions.

jenny t went on vacation:

Too much tequila.
Instead of Pueblan sunsets
All is see is floor.

and set us straight:

Too much tequila:
An oxymoron if I
ever heard of one.

Sam2U came to terms with aging:

Too much tequila,
a tattoo, a broken hip:
My midlife crisis.

I critiqued a celebration:

Too much tequila,
no cake; who let Courtney Love
plan the baptism?

Take it away, Ben!

I’m a little pressed for time so I won’t do a whole guest blogger thing for this weeks haiku; other than to say I was going to go with Sam2u’s “My midlife crisis” but at the last moment she submitted one that cracked me up – this weeks winner “The Osmond’s secret”.

Too much tequila,
and we’re all a bit ‘Country.’
The Osmond’s secret.

Thanks, Ben! And congratulations to Sam2U! Our new first line is The Osmond’s secret. Get to it; I will be back on Monday with Sam2U’s choice.

Yours,
Joanna

57th Challenge Result (too much tequila.)

Happy Mid-Week! Before I get to Seth’s pick, let’s review the haiku:

Sam2U was punnily defeated:

His verse won. Dark, heart
wrenching defeat… Metal rules.
Verses, soiled again

mattrix filed a jedi complaint:

His verse won?!? Dark heart
I have. Revenge I will plan.
Haiku I will break.

and Ben highlighted some poetic dedication:

His verse won? Dark Heart,
he penned it with his own blood!
He wrote his heart out.

I’ll turn things over to Seth now…

As to the entries – They’re all very good. (Consider me duly chastised by mattrix, and Sam2U had a great pun.) But at the end of the day, you just can’t go wrong with “Too much tequila”.

His verse won. Dark heart
succumbs to sweet words. That, and
too much tequila.

My pick, therefore, is Ben. Very nice verse, and an excellent closing line to start the next round.

Thanks, Seth! And congratulations to Ben! Our new first line is too much tequila. Since I messed up the timing the last couple of weeks, I will try to get back on track this time: I plan to be back with Ben’s pick on Monday.

Yours,
Joanna

56th Challenge Result (his verse won dark heart.)

My apologies for the extreme delay! Between catching an icky cold and some work stuff, I was a bit preoccupied this past week. Time for haiku!

ismoon.maria got us started with some medical advice:

Gnarly! Yet sweet scent
indicates having a stroke
Total bummer dude!

Leila brought us perfume critique:

“Gnarly, Yet Sweet!” Scent
Connoisseur reviewed fragrance
by Paris Hilton

And Ben sent us a note from Hogwarts, perhaps:

gnarly yet? Sweet scent
overpowers. Does potion
need a bit more bat?

And Leila announced

Seth wins with poetic rock & roll!

Gnarly yet sweet, sent
o’er strains of goth metal,
his verse won dark heart.

Thanks, Leila! Though Seth’s haiku totally rocked, I feel the need to point out that he dropped a letter (the “c” in “scent”), thereby breaking the one major rule of Will the Haiku Be Unbroken! (In other words, the haiku has been a bit, well, broken.) The winner got posted before I could point this out, so I have been overruled; this haiku stands. Congratulations, Seth!

Let’s reiterate the guidelines for the future: We may only alter capitalization and punctuation, not the letters themselves. Also, if you are choosing the winner of the week, please email me rather than posting in the comments so I can moderate. I can now be reached at unbrokenhaiku [at] gmail [dot] com.

So our new first line is his verse won dark heart. Since we’re getting started so late (except for Sam2U, who was totally on top of things), I’ll give you until Wednesday, when I will be back with Seth’s pick.

Yours,
Joanna

55th Challenge Result (gnarly yet sweet scent.)

Hello again! I get to make the pick this week, so let’s get started.

mattrix revealed the interesting nickname he has given his car:

The pizza top “pings”
My mechanic says: “More oil!”
And that means more gas!

Kevin Moore introduced us to some music history:

The Pizza Toppings:
a college rock band who played
sad, empty basements.

juju broke the rules a bit, but that’s probably because of the dementia:

The Peet’s… uh… toppings?
No wait… coffee. Geez o pete.
Senility reigns.

Ben regretted his order:

The pizza toppings?
Onions and extra garlic.
Oh. No goodnight kiss?

But I was most charmed by the odd but poetic story told by Leila:

The pizz atop Ping’s
Store has fermented to a
gnarly yet sweet scent.

Congratulations, Leila! Our new first line is gnarly yet sweet scent. Get to it, people!

Yours,
Joanna